It pours

There's a creeping, slow subtly to April that really compels me. The grey skies, the icy rain, the just out of reach glimmer of, oh wait no never mind, warm weather is ages away. Landlords turn down the heat in buildings so everything feels damp. Thunderstorms thrash and freeze you to the bone in a way that not even the most paralyzing January blizzard can understand. At least then you're wearing woolly socks. By the time April rolls around, I've sworn off tights and winter coats till next November.  I'm defenseless.


April is quite possibility the coldest month out of sheer spite. All the while, though, there are flowers sneaking up on you when you least expect them. Impossibly big, lush magnolias enough to make your eyes roll back in your head before the first tree has even peeped a leaf. Every spring I say this and every spring it's truer than the last- I can't believe such beautiful things happen every year for us to see.

Like honey

I've been on a strict spending diet that consists of nothing but flowers and food. Both beautifully delicious perishables, if you will. I know I should scale back on the fancy stuff but I'm struggling. Rock bottom happened last week in the Fairway gourmet honey section when I almost bought myself a $10 jar of "honey from a thousand flowers". A girl with no disposable income has no business buying thousand flower honey. It went back on the shelf, even if it took a little piece of my heart with it.
Flowers are harder for me to say no to. Sometimes I can barely comprehend that these stems, each more exquisite than the next, can cost little more than a dollar. What else can you buy for $1.50 that's more perfectly, transcendently beautiful than a single stem? Pretty much nothing, ever. And so I buy them in bunches. Big, fat bunches. More bunches than I have any business buying. And so it goes- my vicious, delicious downward spiral.